You were ghosted! I know, right? You’re freakin’ fantastic! But girl, that actually doesn’t matter!
Say whaaat? 🤔
Let me share a story with you that I felt compelled to share as a friend of mine just went through this!
She’s also smart, funny, has a career, and is quite successful at what she does. What’s not to love?!
Well, here’s the story…
She hooked up with a guy over the holidays. She then hung out with him another couple of times. They were texting back and forth quite a bit then BOOM, nothing! She was ghosted! WTF right? 🤷
It happens. And it’s a definite blow to the ego.
My friend, like a lot of women this has happened to, started questioning what she did wrong.
She was convinced that she had made some major faux pas. And she was making up story after story in her mind trying to figure out how she messed things up.
Hold Up!! 🛑
As far as I could tell, she did NOTHING wrong (other than maybe sleeping with him too soon – but that’s a post for another day!)
What if she didn’t do anything wrong?! What if it had nothing to do with her?
She was dumbfounded when I suggested that and when I asked what OTHER interpretation of events – THAT DIDN’T INCLUDE HER MESSING UP – could possibly be seen if she looked at things from a different perspective?
And what floored me was, she kept coming back to her doing “this” or not doing “that”. And frankly, it broke my heart. 😥
I asked her if dating someone who was consistent in communicating was important to her. She said, yes. I then asked if she thought he was fulfilling that want/need. She had to admit that no, he wasn’t!
This is what I told her. And this is what I will tell you, too!
If he’s not fulfilling a BASIC need, then why are you wasting your time stressing about this dude anyway? BOY BYE! 😂
What if you looked at dating from a completely different perspective? STAY WITH ME HERE!
What if, instead of dating with the ultimate goal being getting a boyfriend, or even just getting a guy to like you, your goal was to just get to know the guy you’re seeing WITHOUT AN ATTACHMENT TO THE OUTCOME.
What if you went on dates with a curiosity mindset, and just gathered information to see if they are a fit for YOU?! How would that change the experience of dating for you?
I bet it would take a hell of a lot of pressure off!
All too often, as women, our goal is to make people like us – in general, but especially with men! We turn ourselves inside out doing it, trying to fit into whatever ideal WE THINK the other person has for us).
And for what? What if the guy we’re seeing isn’t even a good fit?! If we’re hyper-focused on getting them to like us, we’ll never know!
And when we do that, guess what happens?
We settle! And girl, ain’t nobody got time for that! 🙅
When you come to dating from this new perspective, things change. If you’re ghosted, you will know you are better off without that person. THANK YOU, NEXT!
You start to develop rock solid confidence, and are able to look at things from a less emotional and more logical and honest perspective.
And the ironic thing is, confidence is super sexy so even just building more confidence will automatically make you more appealing to great men – imagine that! 🔥